Media During Quarantine

Media has helped me feel less alone. While I do have the benefit of still working during the quarantine, which is really nice in the "I actually get to see other people in person" aspect, it's still really lonely to not see my classmates on a day to day basis.

I've avoided the news like the plague (ironic, I suppose) because I know that that will only make me feel worse. Instead, I've been watching a lot of kind of old movies (I rewatched Gnomeo and Juliette and The Muppets) and YouTube videos. Children's movies have been quite nice because they're lighthearted and while they may tackle serious issues, they stray away from being distressing. It also just generally makes me feel better since they're usually comedies and I definitely could use a laugh.

In addition, YouTube has been quite helpful because of the faux sense of connection. While I know it's not the most healthy way to take in media, especially considering the negative effects it has on creators when it comes to fan interactions (ex. fans feeling like creators are literally their friends). But I'm indulging myself. I'll take any human interaction that isn't an Amazon return that literally could have waited until May.


Besides media, technology, in general, has been useful. My phone usage has gone way up because I'm basically always video calling someone (well, just one person really, but my point still stands). It both helps me feel connected because who loves being with their family for literally 24/7. Sometimes you need a break. Ultimately, I'm probably ruining my eyes and I've run out of YouTube videos to watch (not literally) but having media and technology makes it a less lonely time.

I'm Stuck

So I stabilized all of my footage and cut it all to length. I sent the opening shot to Robert for him to sound engineer but there's been a disturbing amount of silence from his end.

But I'm stuck. I can't bring myself to edit in the hologram. It's a task that seems so daunting that it's stopping me from even starting.

To avoid confronting it, I'm going to skip to color grading the footage. I quite enjoy this step because I love pretty colors. Remember:

cinematography is when you have pretty colors and the more pretty colors you have the better the cinematography is

— massachusetts senator ed malarkey (@jacobisanadult) February 5, 2020

(It's a joke, obviously, don't judge me too harsh)

Anyways. Due to coronavirus

I've been watching a lot more YouTube videos and I've definitely expanded my scope. I was actually really pleasantly surprised by this because I found a video that might just get me through creating holograms.

It's by YouTuber Cody Ko but he did a lot of cool techy special effects and if he can do it, I literally can do it too. We'll just avoid the huge gaps in video editing experience.

Anyways, a short update, but I don't have much to say. Bye!

Filming With Danna (She Plays Donna!)

So I had Danna come over to play Donna. Yes, I did choose her because they have similar names. How much do I care? Not one bit because I feel she fits the role quite well. Considering there's going to be no background, makeup and hair will be a considerably important part of the mise en scene. So I spent way too much time on it. And because I love Danna so very much, none of these pictures of her will be flattering.

So we started with orange eyeshadow because it seemed bright and fun and funky! But it really didn't work out because when compared to the black eyeshadow I utilized on myself for the main part of the film, it was much more medium toned. I felt that if I didn't use a dark shadow like I did on myself, it wouldn't look consistent or like a trend that people in the future do.

So here's Danna doing her hair after we finished up the makeup! I used dark blue, black, and decided to put a silver stripe going through the middle. We applied glitter to her cheeks and she's using the same lipgloss that I used in the main part of the film because of its green shift (albeit not a noticeable one)

Here's a closer look at what I did. I apologize to Danna who was blind-sighted by my picture.

And so we filmed it! I let Danna keep her jewelry on and the shirt wouldn't be very visible in the shots, so it was fine. While I preferred a collared shirt, she did not have one, we're not the same size, and it's corona time! This is what our setup looked like. I did my best to have high key lighting so that the glitter wouldn't look bad so my window was open, my room rights were on, and I had lamps on both sides of her. Admittedly, I was hoping to borrow lights, but a similar effect was achieved.

It went really well! The actual filming didn't take too long because the composition was easy and Danna didn't have many lines. One step closer!

YouTube Videos I'm Watching Instead of Editing

Ok, so, I definitely started editing. But I hate this and I know if I force myself to keep looking at my own footage I'll only hate it even more.

So I'm taking a break after stabilizing all of the footage we shot.

This is what I decided to do with my time: go deep into the YouTube rabbit hole. Enjoy what I've been watching to cure my editor's block and to cleanse my palette of my own footage.

Practicing Self-Love

So, seeing as I'll be staring at my face for a lot of the editing process, I'm going to force myself to love that face! So today I'm not going to touch my footage. I'm gonna practice self-care and self-love. 

The first thing I decided to do was to do skincare! I do it every day regardless, but today I was going to do it with intention. I was going to actually take a good look at my face and appreciate the little things that I find beautiful in myself. Instead of picking at flaws, I wanted to look at the things I love about myself. Hopefully it will help me look at these features and not my perceived flaws while editing my movie.

Next, I spent time outside. I know it's taboo in these times considering coronavirus, but I just sat in my backyard and let myself take in some sun. I'm like 90% sure I'm vitamin D deficient, so this was a lovely time. I didn't think about much, just about how nice the warmth of the sun felt on my skin. Cue the desperately needed serotonin.

The last thing I plan on doing for myself is making a milkshake. It's simple, easy, and it tastes good. I often shy away from foods because I'm not the most comfortable in my body, especially considering how my weight fluctuates pretty easily. But I want to allow myself the opportunity to just enjoy food and not think about how I'll look when I'm done eating it. That's not the point of eating, after all.

A short post, but I hope you enjoyed this section on how I'm preparing to edit, even if it's not by honing my technical skills.

We Filmed! Ah!

I woke up at 7:30 AM because of this little monster. To be fair, he was very hungry and just wanted his food. I can't be mad because he's cute.

This is my kitty Pikachu

After anxiously lying in bed for an hour, I got up and decided to actually give myself time to do my makeup. In all honestly, I had a bit of a complete turnaround after seeing myself in different lighting. The silver was way too blue-based and it just didn't go with the outfit. I decided a new approach was needed.

I wanted the makeup to convey that my character was empowered, so I thought that a more "sultry" look would be fitting. So I packed on black eyeshadow!

My costume!

The final makeup look!

The outfit read a bit more mod than 1950s, but I didn't really mind so much as the implication that it's vintage is still very present. The exact decade that we decide to imitate isn't as important as the feeling that we're trying to imitate the past.

This is what we ended up using as our futuristic device! It's a scrabble game that forced me to inhale a lot of acetone fumes to get clean. But regardless, it ended up looking perfect once I was able to clean it up for its part!

When you're making a movie but you're kinda shy

Onto how the shoot went! It went alright. I'm very pleased with how it turned out. We found out pretty soon that we'll have to completely redo the sound ourselves because of the amount of background noise that would 1) make it feel inconsistent because we cannot film in realtime so the music would not match up 2) break the feeling that this is a futuristic dinner because Sirius XM kept on telling us we were on Elvis Presley Radio

So yeah. That's a circumstance I really didn't see coming.

I had to confront the fact that I was really really uncomfortable on camera. It's just not something I liked and I'm ashamed of the number of times I forced a reshoot because I thought I looked ugly. It was really frustrating being the one mainly on camera. I especially don't like it going forward because I know the editing process is going to be really rough. I'm very critical of my face. Editing this short film is going to involve looking at my face a lot.

A bit of a shoutout to my boyfriend, Gus Lanz, who came with us to help with camera work. I did most of the shots that didn't have me in them and Robert had a very very heavy influence on how the shots were actually composed. He was mostly there to press the record button but regardless, a massive help, especially with the scenes where both Robert and I are shown.

Right after shooting I went to work and then finally got home. I haven't looked at any of the footage again because honestly?

Pikachu shleeping

This is what I want to do right now. I'm looking forward to finally finishing this project. At least I'll have Pikachu to keep me company as I edit.

40 Unedited Minutes of Me Figuring Out What Makeup I'm Going To Be Doing

Ok so it's slightly edited... but that's because I hated the ending so I cut it out. Full disclosure that I thought I'd edit it when I originally filmed and then I realized that it was way beyond late and I still had work for the next two days so I decided against it. Enjoy!

DIY 50s Costume

So I'm working full-time right now, so I really don't have the chance to go to a store and shop for an actual outfit that will fit into the movie. This means I have to shop my own closet and steal some stuff from my mom. More of the latter than the former, to be honest. So I got with my mom and she helped me google some looks that we could try to recreate.

There are pants! I have pants! I have exactly 0 skirts in my closet because I hate wearing them so this is going to be quite helpful. These looks are very fun and summery, but I don't quite own the silhouette that they create. But, I think the upper far-left pants are what I'm going to aim for.

I'm going to take some advice from the movie Grease, though. I think it has an important lesson that I can incorporate while choosing a look.

You don't have to be historically accurate in order to remind someone of an era. These aren't 1950s looks. But who cares? Not the audience. 

I found these sweater tops which remind me of a set that my mom owns that's a camel-colored sweater and matching cardigan that looks a lot like the combination in the upper left corner. So that's picked out!

Women back then were also wearing pants in funky colors, so I'm going to take my mom's houndstooth pants and use those as well.

While this may not be entirely historically accurate, it's also not a historical piece. We're not taking place in the 50s. It's the future, baby. So I'm going to allow myself some wiggle room with this costume, especially considering that I have like one more day to figure it out.

I'm going to pair this with a pearl necklace I have that's not really a pearl necklace because it feels right. It's a creative choice I want to take!

It's also a piece of pretty popular era jewelry. Which should theoretically complete my look! I'm going to wear a pair of funky mocassins my mom has because I'm unsure whether my shoes will be seen at all anyways, and I think they tie the outfit together quite nicely with the gold buttons on the cardigan and the gold detailing of the shoes. 

The World Is Ending I Hate This

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Thank you.

So, I'm pretty sure Lucille's will be closing because La Torreta, the restaurant by the UPS Store I work at, has closed their dining. Which means that there's a big chance we might have to completely rescript and storyboard.

I emailed the owner of Lucille's to see whether they'll even be open and I am not opposed to begging to see if we can film despite coronavirus closures and just forgoing the existence of food in our script. This is a short post but it's going to be the beginning of a very frantic series of posts while figuring out how to plan for this film in literally 3 days so that we can stay on schedule and film it on Thursday to allow myself time to undertake what I assume will be a very annoying editing process.

I HATE HER!!!

Confronting My Stupid Fears

Veronica can't act in our film anymore. Her parents have forced her to stay at home and she has literally no way to leave her house this coming week, much less film. The week after is probably going to be more severe. So I can't count on her. We're drastically different sizes so the costume isn't going to work on me. I have to search my closet and make a vintage look out of it. Which is frustrating because I don't know if I can, though, my mom may be on some help.

But this means Robert and I have to act in our own movie. We weren't ready for this. But jeez, now it's our faces on the silver screen.

I'm About Ready To Break Down

There's no school next week due to coronavirus. Which means there's going to be plenty of closures following... I'm so scared that Lucille's will close before we have time to film our short opening. I'll be getting into contact with Lucille's on Monday to see if our film can go as planned, even if we have to do it earlier than we would have liked.

I hope this works.

We're Together Again!

So time to revisit the script. Sure, it's only been a day, but I thought about my other classes and allowed myself to fully stop thinking about this short film opening for a while. I realized that what was stopping me from making an engaging opening was my refusal to introduce another character. Ultimately, I think it's vital to what I was trying to do. Hence, welcome Dallas! While Jackson was originally only supposed to be a model, he's been promoted to lead actor. So, here it is! Our script, finalized.

INT. LUCILLE'S DINER - DAY

ANNE-LOUISE walks through the door into Lucille's, a 1940's era diner that has been fitted with futuristic flairs and technology. She is dressed in a burgundy dress, high heels, and futuristic makeup. ANNE-LOUISE has a small device in her hand which has holograms coming out of it. One hologram is of a dating app, Flame, the other is a video chat with her friend DONNA. ANNE-LOUISE makes her way to a booth and sits while talking to DONNA.

ANNE-LOUISE

So, I walked in and he had a Holo 4.5! I can't be with a man that old.

DONNA

(surprised)

Holo 4.5? That's from the 22nd century! Are you sure he really had that many dates?

ANNE-LOUISE

Yes, he has. It's a shame, he was so nice. But I need a man who can provide for me. I don't plan on giving up restaurants any time soon.

ANNE-LOUISE presses a button on the table and another hologram appears, a menu. She quickly presses on what she wants her order to be, as if she's been there often.

DONNA

You have such shamelessly luxurious tastes. Why don't you just take the InstantFull? I know it doesn't have much flavor, but it's so much more convenient.

ANNE-LOUISE

You know it's my guilty pleasure! Besides, I got a bonus at work. Let me treat myself.

DONNA

(giggling)

You always do!

ANNE-LOUISE continues going through her matches, mostly accepting them.

ANNE-LOUISE

I have a date coming anyways.

2.

DONNA

Your third today?

ANNE-LOUISE

Fourth!

DONNA

Rookie numbers. I've had six.

ANNE-LOUISE

I'm not as pretty as you, Donna. Besides, it's only 2 in the afternoon. I have time later today as well.

DONNA

I guess. I have to tell you about this guy from earlier, though! Oh my god! He wants to get married! Can you believe it? I though it was adorable but I had to end it right there.

ANNE-LOUISE

So weird. I could never date someone like that. Marriage is so weird... it's like, basically prison. I can't stay with someone for more than a day.

A waitress comes to ANNE-LOUISE's table and delivers her food. ANNE-LOUISE doesn't acknowledge her and starts eating.

DONNA

Hope you have better luck than I do, it's so awkward dealing with someone like that. Can you believe they're trying to make marriage a thing again?

ANNE-LOUISE

I can't. I also can't believe how good this is. You have to come here with me one of these days!

DONNA

(rolling her eyes)

Stop tempting me! You know I can't afford it right now. 70 dollars for a sandwich is too much. I’m not a foodie.

ANNE-LOUISE eats slowly, far more interested in her phone than her food.

As she browses, a bell rings near the entrance of Lucille's, drawing her attention. A MAN, around her age and sporting a greaser's outfit.

3.

ANNE-LOUISE

(between bites)

He's here. Gotta go Donna, talk soon!

ANNE-LOUISE hangs up on DONNA immediately. She messes with hair a few times, eventually deciding to give up and simply try to play it cool as the MAN finally reaches her table.

MAN

(Looking at device)

Anne-Louise?

ANNE-LOUISE

Dallas?

DALLAS smiles, and proceeds to take a seat across ANNE-LOUISE.

DALLAS

What's cookin' good lookin'?

ANNE-LOUISE forces out a laugh. It wasn't the first time she'd heard that today.

Realizing We Need To Take A Break

It's not you... it's me. No, really. I'm literally sick of spending every day working on my script and I think it may be the culprit behind my big hatred for what I wrote. It's been a little less than a week where I'm forced to confront my work daily and I think it's giving me the opportunity to be overly critical.

I think I need a break. My psychology grade agrees...

So I'm taking one. For today, at least. I'm going to do my psych homework and allow myself to stop thinking about this project for a moment. I think I'll be able to return with some clarity.